A Word of Advice For Those Who Really Want It: “Still Figuring It Out”
In this age of social media and constant life comparisons, it's very easy to feel like something's wrong with you. If someone bought their own car versus you being gifted one or if someone moved out versus you still living with your family, or if altogether you have neither of these things, you may start to ask yourself: What is going on? What am I doing or why didn't I do this/that?
It's important to remember that everything is circumstantial. Your life and your experiences are just that-- yours. What happens in your reality shouldn't be compared to someone else's because no one has lived the life you have lived and are currently living. Just because someone has something that you do not, does not mean your life is less than or inadequate. And just because you have something that someone else does not, does not mean your life is better than or more adequate.
Don't get me wrong. I know that there are privileged beings and disadvantaged beings. I know that being "self-made" and "independent" are big buzz-words going around right now. Everyone wants to show how proud they are of doing something on their own. But, I also know that we are all dependent on each other. Someone had to sell you the car or house, someone had to like your post or come to your shows. Someone had to make the paper, the material, the technology etc. for you to use. So what does being self-made or independent really mean? How much more could you do with others by your side. Support and generosity go a long way, and the the world would be a much better place if we all received a helping hand, proper guidance, or mentoring. Being privileged or disadvantaged can influence how much or how little we help others, but they aren't the end all be all. Every single one of us are capable of helping someone else in some way, shape, or form.
The best advice I can give if you are feeling down or guilty, is to practice gratitude. Be grateful first for what you do have and what you are doing. Recognize that things can always improve and get better. Volunteer for as many organizations/events as much or as often as you possibly can. Travel the world when you can; start with going to a town or city outside of your own. Be open to others' culture and style. Talk to people who look, speak, act, eat, behave differently from you regularly. Include them in your friend circle. Somewhere in between volunteering, traveling, and diversifying your friend/social group, you'll discover your purpose.
You're still figuring this ever-evolving thing called life out, so be kind to yourself. Work on your journey, identify where you are, where you want to be, and how you can bring others along with you. Reflect on the positives and let the negatives go. Remember, "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." Seek help when and wherever you can.Lean on the people who are willing to lift you up. Trust me, they do exist! And of course, STOP basing your life off of other people's lives (unless of course we're talking about systematic oppression, classism, racism, sexism, ageism, etc. That's a different story).
